2013’s The Bad 8 – Honda Crosstour

When attacking the Crosstour, the typical response from Honda defenders sounds something like this: “It drives like an Accord and it’s really practical.”

Do they think the Crosstour is the only hatchback on the market that drives like a midsize sedan? That the Crosstour is the only practical vehicle on sale? Do they not realize that there are many handsome and practical vehicles that are priced more appropriately and drive at least as nicely as the Crosstour?

Now that Honda has begun selling the Crosstour with a four-cylinder engine and lowered the Crosstour’s price, there remains one key complication.

The Honda Crosstour is ridiculously ugly. There, I said it. Oh my, such a controversial opinion. I generally love referring to beauty and the beholder and all that, but the Crosstour deserves no design defence. I might even delete your comment if you try and defend the Crosstour’s appearance. Defend something, just not this car’s horrendous design.

Recent tinkering hasn’t helped. The big grille is so painfully shiny. The line that begins just ahead of the front door and continues through the door handles doesn’t know where to go. This line doesn’t do a good job at whatever it’s trying to do, and the abyss created by Honda’s designers between the bumper corner and the beltline continues to aid in the rear end’s quest to offend us all. 

The swathe of plastic that stretches across the hatch is cheap like dirt. The size of the rear overhang begs the question, how does the Crosstour not tip over onto its exhaust outlets? The proportions are all wrong, the stance is awry, and there’s enough room for a family of elves to live in the space between rubber and wheelarch.

But it’s practical? If that’s enough justification for buying a vehicle, we should all be driving the Ssangyong Rodius. 

Alternatives: The Toyota Venza is the obvious choice, but even Honda’s own CR-V, though not especially pretty, is a worthy way of avoiding the Crosstour. Subaru’s Outback has that SUV thing goin’ on, and the Volvo XC70 starts at $33,600, $3490 below the top end Crosstour.

Base USD/CAD Price: $27,230 / $28,990

It Sucks, But… It doesn’t cost as much as it did last year.

Sales Stats: Through the first eleven months of 2012, the Crosstour accounts for 0.8% of all Honda Canada sales and just 1.6% of Honda’s U.S. output.

Kia Rio 5-Door – Fiat 500 Turbo – Volkswagen Golf GTI
Jeep Wrangler Unlimited – Dodge Ram – BMW 328i
Ford F-150 SVT Raptor – Chevrolet Suburban –
Mercedes-Benz E350 4Matic Wagon – Porsche Boxster S – 
Porsche Cayenne S – Land Rover Range Rover

The Bad 8

Chevrolet Spark – Chrysler 200 Convertible –
Ford Escape Titanium AWD – Honda Crosstour – 
Lincoln MKS – Nissan Versa Sedan –
Toyota Corolla CE – Volkswagen Touareg Hybrid

The Bad 8 Rules